Babaamaajimowinan (Telling of news in different places)

Minnesota Rep. Matt Grossell, R-Clearbrook, has introduced a bill that would allow border counties to secede from the state

MOORHEAD - Now you know Minnesota Republicans are getting serious. Blanked in statewide elections for 17 years and currently in the minority in both houses of the Legislature, they've discovered what they believe to be the magical elixir.

This is very serious stuff to illustrate the well of good ideas they have to attract more voters and make the state a better place.

Drum roll, please.

Republicans introduced legislation that would allow counties bordering North Dakota and South Dakota to secede from Minnesota.

Finally, they've figured it out.

Tired of picking on transgender children, supporting unpopular abortion restrictions, painting the state's most voter-heavy areas as dangerous, repeating the word "woke" countless times, whining about COVID-19 restrictions from three years ago, banning books, trying to stack school boards with loony-tunes - an approach that's only cost them multiple elections already - state GOPers decided to buckle down and offer a real solution.


Leading the charge is northwestern Minnesota Rep. Matt Grossell, a former Clearwater County sheriff's deputy and Blackduck police chief best known thus far for getting a DWI and earlier being arrested in a St. Paul bar for being drunk and belligerent, who introduced what he's calling the Rocks and Cows Act.

See, that shows how serious the GOPers are. The name is a dig at Democratic Gov. Tim Walz. Giggle.

Grossell's bill, which has more than a dozen GOP co-sponsors, calls for the formation of a commission that will "study and recommend to the legislature a pathway for counties that border the states of North Dakota or South Dakota to be separated from the legal boundaries of Minnesota and annexed into the boundaries of one of those states."

Forget that citizens of those counties could currently move to either of the Dakotas with ease, Grossell's bill furthers the most American of ideals: If things aren't going the way you like, secede.

No reason to change your policy stances that have proven unpopular to the majority of citizens. No reason to conform to the norms of democracy. No reason to admit your side needs to appeal to more people.

You just bail.

It worked well for the southern states in 1861, so why wouldn't it work well for Traverse, Big Stone, Polk, Kittson and Pipestone counties now?

New Minnesota GOP motto: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em in the Dakotas!

Never mind that the DFL controls both houses of the Legislature and the governor's mansion, so this is nothing more than a performative exercise meant to get attention.

And there's the question of whether it's even constitutional. Who cares?! It'll win a unanimous decision in the Court of Owning the Libs. That's what matters.

Know this, Minnesota: Your Republican legislators are literally doing nothing that could be considered competent governing, nor are they working toward improving their chances in the next elections, but they are introducing bills that will attract social media comments and talk-radio phone calls by the dozens.

That, my friends, is the mark of a serious political party. It's about dang time.

The Republicans are finally done messing around - by trying to turn some of the state's counties into Mississippi and Alabama.

Good luck trying to beat that in 2024, Minnesota DFL.


Reader Comments(3)

PolarExpress writes:

Hahaha😂haha...I can barely breathe! Say what you will about this new legislation, at least there's hope he has a sense of humor!

mnrainman writes:

I‘m glad to see how you can write such a non-biased and objective piece. Journalist should be impartial but I guess that’s no longer the case any more.

Pathetic writes:

Good job being nonbiased Mike McFeely. Typical garbage reporting from another sheep from the herd! Pathetically biased!!

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